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Blogs > rm_LilBlondeNZ > I Hope They Serve Wine In Hell

This Is My New Profile. (I am tired of being humble.)  

rm_LilBlondeNZ 48F
925 posts
6/28/2009 11:04 am
This Is My New Profile. (I am tired of being humble.)
I am the most powerful and interesting woman in the world.

My mere gaze reflects microwaves.
I eat non-dairy creamer for breakfast.
I can divide the square root of Pi by zero.
I rip staples out of letters with my teeth.
I’ve watched 'The Notebook' without shedding so much as one tear.

I give metermaids parking tickets.
Fluorescent lights cease flickering in my presence.
My white-out never clumps.
People ask me where stuff is in Home Depot.

I can change the TV channel with my mind.
I kick stingrays.
My beer is never flat.
I will entrance you with my beauty.

Heroin overdoses on me.

Nigerian spammers send me money via certified check.
Real checks.
Issued by the International Bank of Awesome.

I’m more flexible than a Romanian gymnast,
More absorbent than a Sham Wow,
Sharper than obsidian.

Fuck Chuck Norris.
He’s got nothing on me.
rm__Safira 61F
11258 posts
6/28/2009 3:36 pm

 Okay, I loved it until I got to the spelling error ...

"Heroine overdoses on me."

Please correct it to "heroin" lest I combust. You know how OCD I am. (Unless, of course, you meant that I ... as THE Evil Fighting Goddess At-large, ergo, a heroine ... overdose on you. Then that's just SUPER!) / *muah* / / *hugs*
This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me


rm_LilBlondeNZ 48F
1028 posts
6/28/2009 4:51 pm
    Quoting rm__Safira:
    Okay, I loved it until I got to the spelling error ...

    "Heroine overdoses on me."

    Please correct it to "heroin" lest I combust. You know how OCD I am. (Unless, of course, you meant that I ... as THE Evil Fighting Goddess At-large, ergo, a heroine ... overdose on you. Then that's just SUPER!) / *muah* / / *hugs*
Haha. Done. Can't blindly trust spell check. Especially when you misspell and it's a real word!


haversack_smith 47M
6189 posts
7/3/2009 2:53 pm

 That's a great profile. Will you marry me?


rm_LilBlondeNZ 48F
1028 posts
11/20/2009 5:10 am

 Awww you're only a few years too late.

But I like the pompoms on your lampshade.

Swing EM!


rm_LilBlondeNZ 48F
1028 posts
11/20/2009 5:11 am
    Quoting  :
Thank you very much!

I also is verry good blog righter.


rm_LilBlondeNZ 48F
1028 posts
11/20/2009 5:14 am
    Quoting  :
I did actually write it so thanks.

Yeah, I figure I'm not going to hide any lights in my bush anymore.

Because Jesus said so.


rm_LilBlondeNZ 48F
1028 posts
11/20/2009 5:15 am
    Quoting  :
BUNZ! Where are you?
How are you and your boobs doing?


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