Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
| Blogs > rm_BaRDSBABE > Safe in the House |
The Afterword
|
The Afterword My trip to mother's family was bitter-sweet. I had family that were drama-queens, and those that were queens at heart. Now I know that's true for both sides of my family. I have come to a place where I can be at peace with my tragic losses. I will never know the reason why my mother felt it necessary to go to my father's apartment that day. I will never understand the reasoning my father had in playing GOD. I DO know, i'm ok with it. The answers to these questions do not change the fact that I have to live my life, that I have to raise, and that I am a woman that deserves to be loved. I think I have had trouble with that the most: not seeing how deserving I was. Or how to take back my self-worth from my father. No matter what anybody said, I thought he took my mom away because of me. So, I tried to be somebody that nobody would want to hurt, only to love and to protect. Serving others was what I thought was the right thing to do. I had a break down in Cali. before I left. It was mostly because I finally saw I was living a lie. Yes, I like to make people happy, but not at the expense of MY feelings. It was hard for me because I saw I needed to change. Through everthing I've been through, change can shake your whole world. It's the biggest earthquake you'll ever have. Change, in my mind, was never good. But, I knew it had to be done. So, I returned to my , my step-, and, of course bardicman. I had a new outlook on what I needed from life. Nothing changed dramatically. It's still taking me a little bit more time to express my emotions, and I have trouble controlling my 'it's either black or while' philosophy. Sometimes, with my step- it becomes hard to conceal. So, now I look forward to being an example for my and . I have so many wonderful (and some tragic) insights to share with them. I'm excited that, finally, I have a man who is sensitive enough to see I want happines and serenity in my home, above all else. Throught it all, I am so lucky and so blessed. I wish to you all the same. Untill next time, Babe |
|||
9/24/2008 10:30 am |
Of course I love you. I am not dead yet
| ||
|
I love you too, Bard. Thank you so much XTC. Sometimes, my loved ones don't want to hear my insight. My wealth of knowledge is sometimes black or white, so it tends to fall on deaf ears.
| ||
|
... Inspirational. You are moving ahead and will find much of value. Your children will benefit greatly. Bless your heart. --Edge See: Your Ultimate autoreply [blog Edge357]
| ||
|
Yes, feel greatly blessed. However, in our darkest moments that thought hardly crosses our minds. Babe
| ||
|
You are a remarkable woman I had to read back at the first part of the story it was very compelling! I admire your strength and courage hang in there babe!!!! JD
| ||
9/25/2008 5:18 pm |
hey bardsbabe~so glad you found peace in this point in time far beyond the tragedy in your life. many are not focused, lack faith, or cannot summon the courage to deal with the lessons life has dealt. congratulations. may peace be with you always. ~~2cute
| ||
|
And you too, as well. Your story has captivated me too. To know that there are dads out there that really care about their children gives me hope.
|
Become a member to create a blog
