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| Blogs > gottaring > Out of the Mouth of a Babe... |
Fuck.
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Fuck. Woke up crying- not the way I want to start Playoff Weekend. I'm lying here in bed next to Hubby and we might as well be in seperate rooms for all he cares. Separate houses. Separate lives. It used to be that when I felt this way, all I needed was a two-minute text session with THAT GUY to make me smile again. Just a "Good morning, Honey" from him would turn my day around. But now I've gone and ended things with THAT GUY and for the life of me, right now I can't remember why. Oh yeah, wait. Now I remember. I had to ask HIM for affection, too. Admittedly, that wasn't the main reason I ended it. I just felt like his feelings for me had changed and that HE wasn't going to be the one to step up. I based my actions on his actions and he didn't prove me wrong. And now I feel like my heart has been shoved through a Play-doh extractor. Who the fuck has to ASK someone to Love them more? How pathetic IS that? Wow. Clearly, self-esteem and dignity have been on hiatus and are not expected back anytime soon. Maybe I'm just not the kind of woman who inspires men to fawning. Some women just have that power- men fall fast and hard and wake up with their wallets missing and their dignity in flames. I've never been that kind of chick- with me, it's sort of a slow build up until one day a man looks at me cockeyed during the half-time show and says, "By the way, I think I might Love you. Pass the bleu cheese, wouldya?" From that point forward, they do the bare minimum to ensure I won't stray...just enough to keep them sitting on their pedestal with an unending supply of chicken wings and beer served in thigh highs and a thong. Fuck. Something needs to change and maybe it needs to be me. I need to not expect so much from people- to just take what they are able and willing to offer and be happy with it, even if it isn't enough. I need to learn to make it 'enough'. Right? Coffee with Sailfast64 in two hours...Exhale. He'll fix this. Just another day in paradise, Lovely Readers. Back to your regularly scheduled mirth and bullshit  .When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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I wish I didn't understand so well what you are going through, but unfortunately I do. No words of wisdom but a hug.
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1/7/2012 4:32 pm |
Sounds you need something 'on the side'  a pool-boy?  or maybe a Student to come to your house for private tutoring? 
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You are just having a bad morning. Look at all the support you have here to help you through your bad day!
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I know what it's like to want and need a change. Just make sure with any changes you make. Think them through first. Because the grass isn't always greener. I know that from experience.
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 I'm a Virgo...our motto is "I analyze"...I am constantly told I overthink things. I wish I knew how to turn it off. I wish I could say something smart and snappy to make you feel better, but I don't think mere words are gonna do it for you. Just know that there are those of us out here who think you ROCK, in all ways.I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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1/7/2012 10:12 am |
It's not you, men are horrible at expressing feelings and taking things for granted, with very few exceptions. Been there, done that myself, and didn't realize it until it was too late.
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what a way to start the new year. should we put you in that special room with no sharp objects again? maybe take away your shoe laces. do me a favor, sit down and watch saturday morning cartoons with your kids, if you can do that and still feel shitty then something big is going on. if you find yourself smiling and laughing with them then the big mudball keeps spinning.
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Ah my sweet, lovely woman! I would fawn over you to no end! It just might begin to irritate you! Lol  Thoughts from the Garden...
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Virtual hugs, babe... big ones. Things can - and frequently do - get better, ok? And if you needed to dump THAT MAN because he wouldn't give you what you want, then, by God, you had to dump THAT MAN.
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There are a lot of directions to go, but it boils down to variations on two themes: work within the framework of the marriage ro step outside of it. The first one involves changing the framework, the hubby, yourself, or both of you. How this gets done/ Up to you. Some might recommend marriage counseling. I am one of those, because it seems like you've already made attempts to talk it out with hubby. It frankly seems patently unfair to not ask any change of him with you making all the effort. I might have this wrong, however, and he might be making lots of effort. The second one is obvious. If you can't get what you need inside the marriage, step outside of it. Plainly spoken, have an affair. I've always thought that relationships fail or succeed depending on if the needs of both partners are met within the agreed upon conditions of that relationship, because, come hell or high water, people will get their needs met. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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1/7/2012 6:54 am |
I think life is way too short to settle Babe. Remember we all think you're great D xx Hope your day gets better
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I never say how I feel about anyone, perhaps that is my down fall at times. No one ever knows what I'm thinking about them, and if they ask, I kinda brush it off all so lightly with wit & humour. It's a hard call to make, but as you say..........take it all as it comes, as we say here in Glasgow....... "Whit's Fur Ye Wull Never Go By Ye" Translation : Whit is for you, will never pass you by. Cherry  Always remember......Pretty is skin deep, ugly attitude is to the bone.
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Relax girlie. You're just ovulating. Life will seem a bit less fatalistic next week.
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