joke :P
|
Posted:Mar 25, 2008 3:46 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2024 11:2 pm
2188 Views
|
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her If you release me from this trap I will grant you three wishes.
The woman freed the frog and the frog said Thank you but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for your husband will get times ten!
The woman said That's okay.
For her first wish she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, You do realise that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world an Adonis whom women will flock to.
The woman replied Thats okay because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.
So KAZAM-shes the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.
The woman said That's okay because whats mine is his and what's his is mine.
So KAZAM-shes the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered Id like a mild heart attack.
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here
and continue feeling good.
Male readers : Please scroll down.
...
...
...
...
...
Females: you were told to Stop reading.......
...
...
..
...
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen... now run along and put the kettle on there's a love.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
You Can't Find Many Kissers
|
Posted:Feb 13, 2008 1:23 pm
Last Updated:May 24, 2024 11:2 pm
2139 Views
|
When I make love I wanna a girl that’ll kiss me
Then when I’m gone I’d like to hear that she’ll miss me
But all that I’d heard is belt buckles hitting the floor
And you can’t find many kissers anymore
Most of these girls they just don’t know what their missing
If they’d spend a little more time with hugging and kissing
I’ll give em all of my love if they’ll just take it slow
But you can’t find many kissers anymore
No you can’t find many kissers anymore
One you love as much in the morning as you did just the night before
Oh, a girl that you won’t have to tell her hey I gotta go
But you can’t find many kissers anymore
All of you ladies take some good advice from me
If you want faithful effects of my virility
Baby you gotta kiss me and hug me and do it real slow
Laud, you can’t find many kissers anymore
No a girl that you won’t have to tell her hey I gotta go
You can’t find many kissers anymore
Laud, it’s hard to find huggers and smooches and kissers anymore
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
great piece of philosophy
|
Posted:Feb 13, 2008 7:39 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2008 1:18 pm
2105 Views
|
Life is Like a Jar of Rocks
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2inches in diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous -- yes.
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed. Now, said the professor, as the laughter subsided, I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your spouse, your health, your --things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff.
If you put the sand into the jar first, he continued there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your . Take time to get medical checkups. Take your husband or wife out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.
The professor smiled. I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
jokes
|
Posted:Jan 18, 2008 5:47 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2024 11:2 pm
3100 Views
|
1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it
was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the
innocently.
'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it
didn't move'
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'
3. An exasperated mother, whose was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in
and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's
sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''
4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
tucking her into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he
asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me
tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
'The big sissy.'
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
's sermon.
All the were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter Dress?'
The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on
microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third , my three year
old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
shower.
She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!'
I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her
tummy.'
'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'
7. A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that of a bitch is nine....'
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'
'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked
'Yes,' he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you
teaching my in math?'
The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'
The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
of a bitch is four?'
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them
was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little
went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is
falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that
farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's .'
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane
Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr.
Sugarbrown's ?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play
with the boys?'
Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're
too rough.'
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'
11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake The barber says to her,
'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin.'
She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
GREAT NEWS
|
Posted:Dec 14, 2007 1:18 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2007 1:11 pm
2163 Views
|
I HAD SEX TODAY
WOOHOO!!!!
  
...NOW WHAT? 
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
9v battery
|
Posted:Nov 26, 2007 2:02 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2007 6:58 am
2217 Views
|
What do a 9v battery and a womans ass hole have in common?
...You know its silly but ur gonna lick it eventually
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (hornyfriend1985) use [blog hornyfriend1985] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
251
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
