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| Blogs > mrs_welike > Just me :D |
Swinging & Relationships 101
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Swinging & Relationships 101 We routinely have new members ask how to go about entering the lifestyle or existing members asking how to proceed to the next level or how to handle different situations. So we thought we would help put out some general information that will hopefully help answer some questions and maybe help start some dialouge between partners, members, and new comers to help everyone navigate their way down the alternative relationship path or realize that this is not for them. First and foremost, the Swinging lifestyle, alternative relationships, open relationships, and the many variations of anything other than a true monogamous relationship is NOT for everyone. Some people take to it like they were born for it and others grow into it and then others just dont. If you have doubts about your position on alternative relationships, then the best suggestion is to take it slow and dont force anything. Most of the general rules and guidelines for swinging can also be applied to normal relationships. And as for most rules, there are always exceptions, but for the majority of issues they are a good starting point. There is SO much information, that it would take too long to put everything in a single post. We will update this post periodically (trying for at least once a week minimum) with new information. |
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It is not appropriate for a swinger to cheat on their partner just like it is not appropriate for an individual in a monogamous relationship to cheat. But if you are a swinger, all parties agree BEFORE any activity what is expected or allowed. Swingers must have open and very honest communication between partners so that their personal rules can be agreeable for all involved. Partners should always communicate their desires & fantasies so that they can create a set of base rules for their personal goals. Your rules should be your starting point for all activities. Such as, do you and your partner only want to participate in voyeurism (watching others or being watched)? Do you want to limit the type of activity performed, such as only foreplay or oral sex but no intercourse? Remember these are your base starting rules, as always there are exceptions but it is easier to start off with stricter rules that you are comfortable with and then change them as needed as you get more comfortable with the lifestyle and your own relationship. But you need a starting point and creating the rules helps start an open honest dialogue between yourself and your partner so you are both comfortable with what you decide. One more thing, you do NOT want to have this discussion or make decisions on exceptions when you are drunk. If you have to be drunk to discuss the ideas or to follow through, then this lifestyle is not for you. You will eventually wake up one morning regretting what you did the night before. And that will not be pleasant for you, your partner, or anyone else that was involved.
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"NO means NO" in most every situation. If you are participating in BDSM, you ALWAYS want to agree on a "safe" word between you and your partner so there is no mistaking when the play needs to stop or ease up. In BDSM, "no" is sometimes part of the role play so you need an alternative word that won't be mistaken for part of the play. Otherwise, anytime someone tells you no, regardless of how polite it may be or sometimes vague, you need to stop. If you are the one saying no, try to be polite but clear in your wishes. You may be saying no to the situation as a whole, but you may just not be "feeling" it that night, if that is the case explain this to your partner/requestor so that if you are interested you don't completely shut the door on the opportunity. The more open & honest discussion you have the less likely there will be a misunderstanding 
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Soft swinging involves no sexual intercourse between non-partners. This means, couples can have sex with their own partners in the same room at the same time while another couple is having sex. They do not exchange partners at any time during the session. It can simply mean there is no vaginal penetration between non-partners. Although they do not physically swap partner, there possibly can be some touching, or oral sex involved. These are usually negotiated in advance between the couples. At most of the time a lot of watching between other couples foreplay will go on. Soft swinging allows couples to add a little spice into their relationship with fun, but without the risk of jealousy. Many couples start off with soft swinging as this is a great way to begin exploring the swinging lifestyle.
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Open Swinging This kind of swinging allows partners to swap and have sexual intercourse in the same room, or bed. This includes orgies and it is great for exhibitionist and voyeurs, who can show off or just enjoy watching their partner play. Many swingers find open swinging allows for total release of their sexual desires and fantasies. An open swinging is successful when all members in the group demonstrate no jealousy. Therefore, it is recommended for couples who have been swinging for some time.
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