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Dilemma
Dilemma My mum had a fall and broke her hip recently. With my dad leaving us 2 years ago, it really wopke me up to the fact that my mum is getting very frail and old too. I suspended my teaching these 2 months to look after mum and the store but it will be easily another 2 to 3 months before she is well enough be mobile like before. I am the eldest and only girl in my family and this had been tough for me. I have been persuading mum to sell the store but she had flatly refused. Am I being selfish? a teacher once, a teacher always |
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1 post 4/13/2011 6:52 pm |
Hey it is not selfish, If your mum is sick, especially when she broke her hip! Poor girl or should I say poor girls! How is she being treated for her broken hips? Have you tried Traditional Chinese Medicine? It may expedite her treatment. As for mum, she must have put her heart and soul into her shop, and asking her to sell may be a tat heart wrenching, why not give her some time to decide and explain to her, exactly how you feel about her and her frailty in maintaining a shop. Can you hire anybody to help her. Heck, if I'm in Australia now, I'll help you! Winstonthepooh
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The store could be her spiritual occupation, and you should tell her that she has to sell the store eventually, if nobody wants to take over, or she is too weak to run the business. Ladykiller0044
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4/15/2011 2:05 am |
You are not being selfish but she has her reason for keeping the store. Is she in Australia or Sg?
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No, you're not selfish... But I suppose you would still have to respect her decision... There might be other ways to bring her round into agreeing with you, but I would have to go into much depth and length if I am to start discussing about that here... By the way, nice photo.
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4/16/2011 5:59 am |
Has there been any discussions with your siblings or other members of the family about taking care of your mom and/or the store? I wouldn't say you're being selfish; i understand how tiresome it can be, to be the bearer of unwelcome and tacit obligations. You are merely trying to redress what I see as imbalanced expectations of you, compared to other members of the family.
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I totally understand your feeling... been thru that before too. It is really depends on individual. For my case, i let my late dad enjoys what he wanted to do and eat. I know it things are not good for his body but that were the things that he like to do and we know that time is also running out for him. So we let him enjoys n buy his fav food for him while we can, at least he left peacefully.. please take care. Let your mom do things which she wants, sometime it is hard to stop an energetic people to stop theri daily routine... just need to be extra careful.... my mom is the same now, but no matter how many times we told her to stop doing all the chords, she never listen... she always said that she worry that if she not working, her body may weaken faster n she don't want that to happen.... so let nature takes it path... just be extra careful... Hope this help u... take care n have a great long weekend. Jack
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I was born and raised in Singapore. Came back to Sydney after dad's early retirement. I had always wanted to go back to Singapore. While I have some relatives from mum's side, my parents would not agree to my living alone in Singapore. I had originally hope to meet someone nice and relocate back. Now it seems almost impossible. With dad gone and mum needing me, what else can I do. I don't want to spend my years running a store. It's like having shackles on my ankles. I can't breathe, I just have so many burdens now. I am so utterly miserable. a teacher once, a teacher always
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4/20/2011 10:42 pm |
I was born and raised in Singapore. Came back to Sydney after dad's early retirement. I had always wanted to go back to Singapore. While I have some relatives from mum's side, my parents would not agree to my living alone in Singapore. I had originally hope to meet someone nice and relocate back. Now it seems almost impossible. With dad gone and mum needing me, what else can I do. I don't want to spend my years running a store. It's like having shackles on my ankles. I can't breathe, I just have so many burdens now. I am so utterly miserable. Do what you feel that you will not have regrets over in the future. If you really like to return , just talk to your mum about it, i'm sure she'll understand. You can always fly back every few months and video calls are cheap/free now, you can always see each other
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mango, if your mum is to be placed in your shoes, I think she would have just sacrificed her own happiness for you, such is the unconditional love of a mother. It's tough but you just have to be there for her, at least when she is sick. Things have its own way of working out, I am sure u will be able to strike a balance with your life soon. Try to be happy as your mum can sense your unhappiness. BTW, I think she has the most cherubic face in the world, u look a lot like her.lucky gal
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Hi mangofiesta, I understand how you feels now. Just hangs there... I believed that you are a tough girl and this small issue will not get in yr way. I just want to tell you that "Don't Live life with regrets". I regret that there are many things that i wanna tell my late father n things which i wanna to do with him but now he is gone, i can only pray for him... Now i treasured my time with my moms more, sometime seeing her doing all the chores n scolded her but she replied that if she don't do it, she feel bored n no energy...So there is nothing i can do after that answer.... so let her do whatever she wants. That is all i can say there. Let her live to her fullness. at least you know that she is happily doing the things that she like most. Just spend more times with her, talk to her n understands her more.. If you needs any listening ears, here is a pair. just post to me.. Take care Jack
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I didn't say I will not be there for her. Of course I will look after her. My brother and I are all she has left. I am just venting my frustrations as I do not see any light at the end of the tunnel, at least not yet. Tks LA, I agree my mum has the most gentle, kindest, sweetest face ever. I am happy to look like her but think I am more like my dad in character. a teacher once, a teacher always
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