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| Blogs > Mariana_Trench_ > poetic disambiguation |
Saint Barbara
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Saint Barbara Long mauve shadows blackening Ochre and fire, the brick wall This is the clinging moment When you see again The red berries of the mountain And in the dark sky - The birds' night migrations And when My Lord returns, His wheels will rut Roads of puddles, Reflecting the pierced clouds, rays - steady lines of silver And when My Lord arrives, I will hear him Call to me, Swiftly I will roll off my bed, My skin damp and wanting -- Wanting, I chew anise seeds Wanting, I suck those berries Wanting -- something In my mouth It grieves me to think I won't see all this again - These things we depend on, they disappear. The third window was my idea My solace in this shuttered room, The voice of the reclusive wind: When did it first seem pointless, to describe that sky-born sound? I glance out this kind portal... Our fields have been harvested Our fields have been turned Our fields grow stiff with frost The farmers have left A sickle, leaning, like a vagrant, at the granary. Resting there, it will grow rusty... I will tell father, so that he may decide That wind has come and gone... Offering strange lucidity, Whispering the phrase: "The forfeit of hope" What does it mean? Image: Saint Barbara Jan van Eyck, 1437 Silverpoint etching on paper. Royal Museum of Fine Arts, Antwerp, Belgium       |
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7/31/2010 9:37 pm |
If you go down a little further you'll see that the first one I did was "Jeanne D'arc." Forfeit = to give up, abandon, relinquish To abandon hope means that you no longer have a hope for that good thing you wished for to manifest. I don't see any way to read that as a positive point of view. But of course each of us are entitled to see and interpret a work of art however we see fit. Thank you as always for the careful and thorough reading you do. It's really a treasure. Best, MT to give it up... i understand. hope is what i'm talking about. for me hope is something that will never be fulfilled. the carrot on the stick. hope (hp) v. hoped, hop·ing, hopes v.intr. 1. To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment. 2. Archaic To have confidence; trust. v.tr. 1. To look forward to with confidence or expectation: We hope that our children will be successful. 2. To expect and desire. See Synonyms at expect. n. 1. A wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment. 2. Something that is hoped for or desired: Success is our hope. 3. One that is a source of or reason for hope: the team's only hope for victory. 4. often Hope Christianity The theological virtue defined as the desire and search for a future good, difficult but not impossible to attain with God's help. 5. Archaic Trust; confidence. i see a lot about expectations in this free version of a definition. i see giving up a life of living up to expectations as a lost cause, that's all. flipping from a life of expectations to a life of actualization is giving up the "hope" and finding one of achievement and the celebration of those achievements. i can see giving up hope for something better. that's all. perhaps this point of view may help you. again, lovely poems. quick powerful words. [post 2856614] This is the really small writing... in bold how 'bout RAINBOW colors?
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oh, and a great set of poems by the way! i read them from most recent to this one. i grew up as a roman catholic, and was never taught much about the saints although they are everywhere and in everything the church does. Forfeit = to give up, abandon, relinquish To abandon hope means that you no longer have a hope for that good thing you wished for to manifest. I don't see any way to read that as a positive point of view. But of course each of us are entitled to see and interpret a work of art however we see fit. Thank you as always for the careful and thorough reading you do. It's really a treasure. Best, MT
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7/31/2010 7:29 pm |
oh, and a great set of poems by the way! i read them from most recent to this one. i grew up as a roman catholic, and was never taught much about the saints although they are everywhere and in everything the church does. [post 2856614] This is the really small writing... in bold how 'bout RAINBOW colors?
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7/31/2010 7:17 pm |
this whole thing reads to me like a preparation for the next level... the next evolution. i see from the comments on eluding to death, and i see that too, but i am looking at this writing as happy. i don;t know how i read that into it, but i do. "The forfeit of hope" i see this as the clarion call to the good life. the final words to a poem about breaking free of an old dead life to be left behind. hope is built on expectations. a life built on wishes and expectations is a life of torture. expectations can never be met - EVER. a wish is just a wish... no focus, no basis in reality, and never going to be fulfilled. i "hope" i win the lottery. i "hope" my kids won't grow to be crack-heads. i "hope" my head is screwed on right. hope all you want... because all you will do is hope. hope is a start, yes. but it is also not self fulfilling. and expecting a wish to come true... is a long and boring, dead-end life.... the forfeit of hope - to me is a good thing. to leave hope behind, and to move on to purpose, objectives, goals. something measurable. something to celebrate. [post 2856614] This is the really small writing... in bold how 'bout RAINBOW colors?
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The idea behind evoking the seasons and harvest was to elude to death. And also to work that sickle in there. Which also eludes to her death. And also to make a reference to nature, and for me (at least) nature = soul = spiritual context. Nature is 'God' although in this context so is MY Lord, which at the same time can be taken as her human male lover. WHICH at the same time can be taken as her father - who is to be her murderer, who also controlled her as if she were his subject and he her lord. Does this help? I bet I confused you more. Sorry. MT Stephen Thanks, MT, for taking the time..I will not give up on 'getting learned'.
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Dear DA, First, please accept my apologize that I am often a bit slow to reply back to all the comments. I love them, please don't misconstrue a slow reply as disinterest. On the contrary, I try to write thoughtful replies to all the posters (especially those who are so thoughtful in their comment to begin with, as you yourself always are)...so this does not always happen overnight. As to your opinions and assessment- well, what can I say? WOW - Thanks! You may be interested to know that my background is heavily in the realms of performance art, costume design, and the visual arts but mainly sculptures and installations. I find when I write I get very sensual/sensory and I think it relates back to how as a visual artist I have worked with such a range of materials including: lard, ice, fabric, wood, aluminum, bronze, copper, iron, hair, bones, cloves, cinnamon, doll parts, car parts, clock pieces, medical supplies, a mummified bird, paint, yarn, lemongrass, a live goldfish, clay, glass, dicrotic glass, feathers, rubber, latex, plaster.... You get the idea. Please feel free to stop by any time! MT
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How fucked up that her own father could do that..and you know what they do in other countries TODAY for various 'crimes'..so lucky to be born in the USA. Stephen -before cheating on your answers, I was going to say something about the change of seasons..the fields will be better come next years harvest..let's keep warm in the meanwhile. And also to make a reference to nature, and for me (at least) nature = soul = spiritual context. Nature is 'God' although in this context so is MY Lord, which at the same time can be taken as her human male lover. WHICH at the same time can be taken as her father - who is to be her murderer, who also controlled her as if she were his subject and he her lord. Does this help? I bet I confused you more. Sorry. MT
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Marvellous work on Saints! Great way of treating them in your powerful, inspiring and thoughtful writings MT. You may want to consider reading something on Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, her poems or La Respuesta. It is a pleasure to read you! Thank you so very much for coming by! XO MT
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Marvellous work on Saints! Great way of treating them in your powerful, inspiring and thoughtful writings MT. You may want to consider reading something on Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, her poems or La Respuesta. It is a pleasure to read you!
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How fucked up that her own father could do that..and you know what they do in other countries TODAY for various 'crimes'..so lucky to be born in the USA. Stephen -before cheating on your answers, I was going to say something about the change of seasons..the fields will be better come next years harvest..let's keep warm in the meanwhile.
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Great work, MT. I have to turn to google more after reading one of your posts than anyone. The lives of the saints are a particular weakness in my knowledge base. I like the rather restrained approach you took to the sensuality. It is particularly effective in the telling of this story -- she is all untried potential. Truthfully, me too. I was baptized a Lutheran, and raised an atheist, and socialize with many sorts of people - but rarely do folks discuss the saints, right? So I did what I always do, BEFORE writing one of my posts. I turned to google and wikipedia and general searching for what I wanted. In this case a few websites describing women/female saints. Most of them are rather unappealing to sift through, a bunch of rhetoric and trying to convert, and a bunch of hyperbole. I hope this poem and the previous seemed more like down to earth women who just had a lot going on in their hearts/minds/souls. I am so glad you see the potential in these. I half-way expect whenever I post a Christian erotica that some person will take offense. I mean, besides Dice, who sort of does it for fun, of course. MT
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Great work, MT. I have to turn to google more after reading one of your posts than anyone. The lives of the saints are a particular weakness in my knowledge base. I like the rather restrained approach you took to the sensuality. It is particularly effective in the telling of this story -- she is all untried potential. Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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Worth a listen: St. Barbara, Don't Let Me Explode by the Hold Steady.
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I have this idea in my head about martyrs... Those of a religious/spiritual nature, and those of a sexual nature. Waiting, hoping, failing, suffering, being abandoned, being torturing, torturing yourself, staying up late wondering, being left behind, all of this overlaps in some chilling and fearful ways. And, there is the dynamic of how deprivation and suffering can be perceived as sexual - BDSM - masochism and sadism. How it can lead to a sexual experience or be part of one - having a blindfold means you are deprived of sight...and several martyrs had their eyes removed or were blinded. Think too of the relationship between fairy tales and women in towers vs the story of Saint Barbara. Towers are prisons, they are phallic, and they are in veritably designed to keep a woman from the real world and this means from sexuality and sexual experience. And they always fail in this endeavor. Saint Barbara was beheaded by her own father for her beliefs, using a sword - here I used the reference to a sickle because I think it's more subtle and therefore more poignant - in ancient Roman times. She was an early Christian martyr. I will do one or two more Saints and they will all be linked by ideas such as fire, death, waiting, and suffering - but they are all poems about sex and sexual desire - at their core. It's just a vast and complex metaphor that's a bit more ...fearful and chilling than some of my other poems. As to why I am in this frame of mind, that I could share privately, if you wished. MT
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I hope never to be - to be bereft of hope - or to forgo allowing it .. just like asking me not to breathe. [/size ~ [blog kelidgh]~ I am, indeed 
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