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Yup
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Yup There comes a time when a person has accept that none of their hopes or dreams will become a reality. That the pursuit of happiness is nothing but a dream and happiness does not exist in this life. |
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Yes, sometimes reality checks occur during the journey.
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I guess that all depends on the topic(s) of what you seek in happiness. In this life, we cannot always fulfill the most ideal pursuits of what each of us might call "happiness". We cannot all have a glamour model wife, own a mansion and yacht or meet our idols. We do not always have the luxuries to fulfill fantasies, due to marital status, financial status, lifestyle choices, physical appearance, work/job/career choices or hours, area of residence or otherwise. To make matters worse, it's hard to find happiness these days when the constraints of other outside factors are out of your control altogether. By that, I mean that a lot of things are dictated by society, deplorable social behavior, technology, conditioning, corruption, fear, paranoia, diseases/viruses, greed, a monetized value on absolutely everything (i.e. absolute restrictions and limitations on everything on this very site which makes searches impossible, by design), etc etc... . As the other commenter said, we sometimes need reality checks during our journeys, because when I observe just the people who contact me here...well, needless to say, they are beyond lost, misguided and misled if they actually think they haze any much more than a 0% level of success here on site....especially in the way they conduct theirselves. However, there is a somewhat brighter side to this all. We may not always be able to acquire those voids, fantasies or fulfillments that we so desperately lack in life, but we are indeed alive. We are humans and we have absolute control of our own selves. We have the ability to make choices or introduce any such substitution which we can still seek the pursuit of happiness within our own lives, however that may be. We all have things that just make us feel happy. Things that make us feel warm inside. Things that make us smile. Things that make us content. And things we should simply be proud of or not take for granted. Fill in those blanks. To some, that means waking up and having that first sip of morning coffee. To others, it's exercise, reading, a road trip, engaging in your favorite hobbies/interests, doing projects, shopping, etc... . We should not take for granted that we wake up each morning alive, breathing, sunshine and able to navigate our ideas and thoughts into action. We are creators of our actions. I have listened to several audio books on that matter and it personally helps me to keep my thoughts aligned and my spirits up. I'd highly suggest you give these a listen sometime if you have idle time (while taking a soaking bath, exercising, resting or so forth). The audio books are long, but definitely do help inspire (within life's realistic means and measures). They can both be found on YT. First audiobook is called "(Full Audiobook) This Book Will Change Everything! (Amazing!)". The other is called "He Can Who Thinks He Can by Orison Swett Marden | Full Audiobook | Self Help | Success". Summary: Keep your head up, a smile on your face and hold steadfast to your goals and dreams. Humans are highly capable beings when we set our mind out to reach and accomplish realistic goals. I truly hope this pep talk has helped soma and I sincerely do wish you the best in whatever dream it is that pursue. 
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Thanks for the lengthy response in better helping us understand your situation regarding this blog. First off, I do want to say how sorry I sincerely am to learn of the hardships that ere brought on by the certain lifestyle factors in your life. I have always been a firm believer that life, at it's hardest, is a brutal environment. And it's always been that way since the beginning of time. There's nothing fair or guaranteed in life, yet it can always still be worse. We could have been born feeder goldfish, crickets or mice for someone's pet snake. Imagine being lower on that food chain? No matter how bad you seem to have it in life, there's always someone (or some other living creature) out there who is worse off. Trust me! Secondly, perhaps I sensed a seasoning of sarcasm or hard feelings against what I said. If so, I was only writing in an attempt to be a supportive person to help ease some of your pain, frustration and discouragement. Let me tell you, nothing is easy, even for the person of ordinary straight sexuality. I get literally hundreds of men on here all contacting me (for irrelevant purposes, mind you). They all have one main thing in common. They all come here in search of one thing (females for sexual encounters), and over and over again, I hear the same stories that they are all striking out, that all the so-called "women" on here are just an illusion of fake profiles. I go through the long-winded analyses each time, explaining to each one of those men of why we're left with that outcome. In short: there is literally zero female inventory on this site at all (for various reasons). Bottom line is this: If ordinary straight men who consist of the majority of this site's population aren't finding any matches or success rates whatsoever in such a completely common lifestyle of being straight, then I can only imagine the impossibility you're dealing with, if you are searching the entire country without luck. We're not living in the 'good old days' anymore. The golden years are over, not just for your search, but for nearly every person out there who comes here seeking people. Society has changed drastically. Technology also played a huge part in destroying communications and took the human element out of talking, communicating, holding meaningful and deep conversations and getting to know people very well and for long term. People are rude these days, ignorant, boring, vague, sidetracked, paranoid, fearful, mental and everything in between. Politics and this crazy virus b.s. has torn society apart at the seams, purely by design. But back to square one of the basics, we must regularly give ourselves reality checks and simply value what it is that we do have....life, the air in our lungs, sunshine, food, a supportive and loving family, a home, health, etc... . I would say to try not dwell on the things we cannot change in this world, but rather, be thankful for the most simple elements that we have day to day the we normally take for granted. Meantime, fight the good fight and always keep a glimmer of hope for your dream to come true. I have found that the best things that come to us all, normally happen when we least expect them to. Again, that's all described in those audiobook links, as well. Hobbies: Are you telling me that a hobby has to be a massive expense to get involved in? I'm not talking about collecting rare or classic cars, owning a Jimi Hendrix's original 1969 guitar or owning a wax museum warehouse. I'm talking about heading down to your local craft store, picking up $10-$20 of some art supplies and painting/drawing pictures to express yourself and get your mind off of the real world stresses through relaxation. Do you have a simple camera or enjoy photography? I have seen pre-owned digital cameras on ebay with a Buy It Now feature and free shipping for as low as $18. Go out in nature and snap photos if that's something you might enjoy. Hobbies could be anything imaginable in which you may have an interest in and in which your budget can afford (mind you, collections are always an ongoing hunt to gather little at a time)....you name it...basket weaving, art, stamp collecting, coin collecting, sports cards, playing a musical instrument, bird watching, backyard astronomy, being active in your community by offering your time in various charitable activities, online blogging/chat, etc etc etc... . I have no clue who you are, nor do I know your past work history, schooling/education, talents, interests or so on. I have no idea what you may specialize in or where your talents may shine brighter than most other people. Only you know that stuff. Use these things to your advantage. I think the biggest hurdle here is in shifting your negativity into something positive in which you can either feel proud of an accomplishment or find a level of happiness and self fulfillment that rests deep inside the pit of your hear somewhere. You're obviously an intelligent person. As for shopping: Same thing. I wasn't talking about going out on some shopping spree and spending hundreds or thousands. I just meant that it was just a suggestion to break up the monotony of every day life by heading out once every week or two and spending a few hours out, maybe picking up a $10 clearance t-shirt along the way or something. I'm not trying to make these examples sound literal, I'm merely suggesting ideas which might shift your mind off of what seems to have you in a major rut in life. As for moving: I completely understand. That was also outlined in my initial comment regarding "financial status". Some things aren't always options. Key to it all is determining in your life what IS an option for you and what you CAN control and put your efforts in that direction. It seems to me that we're dwelling on the things in which we simply have no control over (society, technology, greed, judgement, discrimination/corporate discrimination, physical appearance, financial status, etc...) which is the problem. Do what works in your favor. Surround yourself with love, not the negativity. Place pictures of those loved ones on your wall...or of your achievements in a diary...or a poster of your favorite music artist or movie on your wall, set heirlooms or knickknacks out, place reminders around you of memorable times or of those who have treated you without prejudice in life. Whatever it may be, surround yourself with positivity. Listen to the audiobooks (completely free, mind you) and this can be a hobby of it's own, since they are hours long. I hope you honestly take these pointers in and consider. Your paragraph sort of sounds like one massive dark and negative cloud and it surely doesn't have to be that way. Sure, life is hard and unfair for all of us in some way or another and it's even harder yet for some people. I can tell you plenty of personal stories of myself in which life beat me up more unnecessarily that most other average and ordinary people, but I insist on keeping a positive mind. Negativity will only lead to depression, stress, health issues and a downward spiral of thoughts, frustration and discouragement. There is no such thing as a utopia in this life and we're all dealt different hands of poker. Utilize your hand to the very best possible means in which you can realistically find a level of success, confidence, positivity and self-worth. And for the record, I have spent much of my young adult life hanging around the LGBT type bars and night clubs. I have had many friends who lived alternate lifestyles and I can directly relate to how hard that scene is, along with the judgements and all else, so I'm not just here trying to sound like a know-it-all. Hope that helps, my friend. Keep your chin up and put a smile on your face. You're alive. That's ultimately what matters! 
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