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Blogs > cuteredhead83 > Confessions of a redhead

Not giving up.  

cuteredhead83 40F
105 posts
8/1/2005 2:41 am

Last Read:
5/30/2006 11:26 pm
Not giving up.
I am for the first time in along time ready to let some walls down. I have met a guy that has opened my eyes and made me look at myself...

In been trying to maintain my "bubbe of safety" since everything happened. I have spun around a lot of guys and sent them packing. Which is truth. He also made me realize I have not been "with" anyone who I haven't been before it happened..

In making me realize the reality of my actions that I was so desperate to hide he has made me realize that I terrified to let anyone in but the people I ready new before it happened which is ok. But if I want to feel the place I use to longed for, the place that made me feel safe. I have to take steps to stop pushing everyone away.

He says he isn't going away. I guess in away I hoped everyone would just give up and go away that way I would not have to deal with it. Also I would not get hurt. Many of guys that have come against my walls have given up on me.

Though I do not blame them...

I thought I could deal with this all on my own. Though what I want and need are two different things... What I really need is for someone to not give up on me and help me get through this.
rm_lonely4you34 113M
Ask me for a photo
1 post
8/1/2005 11:54 pm

 remember just keep swiming swiming swiming.
love robby


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