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the drivel that inhabits my brain ... is now there for everyone to see ...
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so the Pope has gone so 21st century...
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Posted:Oct 26, 2007 3:59 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2010 10:41 am
7443 Views
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I've just read that the Pope has been given an email address...(for those of you that are interested its.. benedictxvi at the vatican ... dot...va)
I was considering what I'd write to him... as apparently he'll spend a few minutes reading emails everyday.. and the rest deleting spam no doubt...
so here goes...
Dear Pope:
I know I'm a bit behind here...but let me congratulate you on an impressive election victory.
You really crushed your opponents, especially those non-European cardinals who actually thought they had a chance... can anyone really imagine a black pope?
You need to tell them to go easy on the communion wine..and the alter boys..
Its great to see democracy working so well within the church. If only all those heathen and protestant countries would learn from the Vatican and follow its democratic principles of "one man, one vote, let the women sit and watch."
I think this is what was intended by universal sufferage..
I'm glad you believe that only men should be priests, bishops and cardinals. We already let women attend church and take communion -- must we let them wear the gowns too?
Women today are trying to take over the world... they're doctors, lawyers, accountants, and engineers. Some jobs ought to be reserved for men.
Perhaps that's why I can't get a job... and never seem to be able to keep a partner..
I should say that I am a churchgoing man, very faithful to Catholic principles.
However I just wanted to know if you think the church will ever change its stance on same-sex marriage.
In case you are wondering, I am heterosexual man..
But it just so happens that my partner is not. He wants to get married in church, but that raises a problem: Which one of us should wear the dress? I think he should, because I'm the one who's heterosexual.
Would you mind giving me your advice as my local parish priest just tells me I'll burn in hell..
Hetrosexually and prayerfully yours,
GTB
I know I missed out contraeception and abortion... but it was getting long winded...
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Elvis Crisp is dead... long live Elvis Crisp
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Posted:May 8, 2006 7:29 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2006 7:58 pm
6996 Views
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Alas and alack...
Elvis is dead...
well eaten actually...
Floppy and her friend Jeanie (another black labrador) seized poor Elvis..
ripped him limb from limb...
and swallowed him before you could say...
Peter Piper picked a piece of pickled pepper. If Peter Piper picked a piece of pickled pepper where's the piece of pickled pepper Peter Pipper picked..
Granted its not easy to say... and neither was it easy watching those two evil dogs taunt and torture Elvis...
As I sit on the sofa typing... Floppy lies on my lap and I swear I hear the faint refrain of 'You ain't nothing but a hound dog'
And the bidding was up to £328 on ebay...
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1
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some bold Irish phrases
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Posted:Dec 18, 2005 8:29 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2006 8:16 pm
6954 Views
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Bualadh craicinn Fucking (lit. skin-hitting)
Streachailt leathair Fucking (lit. leather stretching)
Cíoch Tit
Póg mo thóin Kiss my ass
Focal leat Fuck off (lit. word with you)
Dún do bheal Shut your mouth
Imigh sa diabhal Go to the devil
Cailleach Old hag, witch
Is dócha nach bhfuil seans ar bith ann? I suppose a ride is out of the question?
Go dtachta an diabhal thú May the devil choke you
Múchadh is bá ort Smothering and drowning on you
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2
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What would you do with $300 million?
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Posted:Dec 14, 2005 8:08 pm
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2007 3:47 pm
6797 Views
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Some one gives you $300 million (£170 million)...
What would you do with it?
(a) run psych-ops to positively promote untruths in the press at home and abroad? or..
(b) something else....???
Answers on a postcard ...email...or blog...
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2
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Advice
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Posted:Dec 10, 2005 12:04 pm
Last Updated:May 22, 2006 5:09 am
6882 Views
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15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MOM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC.
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
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