Finally a truly happy and content me
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Posted:Oct 24, 2016 10:16 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 1:49 am
4573 Views
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[I am so very happy and in love I can hardly contain myself. I have never been with a man like my Tony before in my life. He takes good care of me and treats me like a princes, I'm so not used to that. I was so used to men just taking what they wanted from me and leaving me a sad heartbroken mess.Not this time, he came along and swept me off my feet before I knew what happen.
He surprised me with roses and flowers several times and has taken me out on a real old fashioned dinner date. He won't let me carry anything heavy or anything like that. He walks either beside me or behind me and I go through the door first no matter what.
He's an amazing man that I love so very much and he loves me just as much. Then this past June I got the shock and surprise of my life June 19, 2016 is a day I will never forget because he got down on one knee and surprised me with the most beautiful diamond engagement ring and asked for my hand in marriage. Of course I said yes.
So now we are in the planning stage for our wedding next June and I can't wait. I have never been more happy, content, and whole in my life.
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I Love That Man
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Posted:Apr 18, 2016 11:59 pm
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2016 8:32 pm
6112 Views
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I am so in love with a wonderful man who just adores me. He makes me feel soo special, loved, and wanted. We talk every day and he tells me all the time that he loves me. He is so sweet, kind, and oh so cute. I can't wait to have him in my arms to stay. I want him and love him so much.
He tells me all the time how pretty I am and how special I am to him. He means the world to me and I would do just about anything for him.
I am thinking a lot of happy thoughts but also scared because I don't want to get heart broken again.
I've never met anyone like him before because he is very respectful and polite when he talks to me. He has never gotten sexual with me on the phone, or vulgar.
I never thought I'd say this but I think he might be " the one". But then again I'm afraid of getting hurt.
We have so much in common, even the fact that we've both been used and hurt bad before. I'm even thinking that if he offered me a ring I might accept it, but we have plenty of time for that. I know it's rushing things a bit but a girl can dream.
Don't worry I'm not planning my wedding quite yet.
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Another sleepless night.
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Posted:Mar 27, 2016 12:42 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 1:49 am
6317 Views
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Well here I sit on yet another sleepless night. The only difference I can see, other than the usual pain issues is I just got off the phone with Tony my loving boyfriend. I can't help it I guess I'm kinda love sick. I look in the mirror and see a happy face with a content smile.
What would make things better is if he were here with me now, laying next to me holding me in his arms while I sleep. Feeling his body next to mine, his breath on my skin, safe and warm. Feeling not only content, but whole for the first time in a long time.
Well I guess I should try to sleep and let my dreams put me where I long to be... in his arms.
Nite my sweet precious man, I love you
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Happy and content finally with a real man
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Posted:Mar 19, 2016 11:40 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 1:49 am
6860 Views
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I have met the most wonderful man a week ago who just swept me off my feet. He is a TRUE country boy and a gentleman. He is so sweet and kind and knows how to treat a lady. When we talk on the phone, he is always a gentleman by watching his language, always polite. Our conversations are always good with a lot of getting to know each other questions and talk. He has never gotten sexual with me on the phone, our conversation always stays above the belt. He is always respectful like a real man should be because his mother taught him that.
He loves me for being me and nothing else. He thinks I'm pretty and smart. When he sent me a picture it was of his handsome face, fully clothed, and not of anything else.
I am so very happy with him not only because of how he is but how he treats me. It is so very refreshing to have someone who doesn't want to just call me because he's horny and wants to get off, or sends me a "cock shot" because he thinks that will make me hot and horny for him.
The fact is I love him for him just being himself and nothing more. To me he is very real and genuine like no one I've ever met. I started to think that there wasn't anyone like him left. Well to be honest... There's not anymore... I've got the last one and I mean to keep him. Sorry ladies he's mine.
Thank you God for sending him and making me very happy and fulfilled.
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My Fairweather wannabe Boyfriends, lovers, and those three little words.
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Posted:Feb 19, 2016 1:20 am
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2016 8:27 pm
8102 Views
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I have met my share of men over the years and my past has been a learning experience believe me. What have I learned? A lot actually, I've learned how to Cry, how to hurt, how my feelings really don't matter,how to be used and taken for granted. Trust me my heart has the cracks and scars to prove it. And yet I hang on to the bitter end
Then someone comes along and says all the right things and I fall for it again, hook, line and sinker. Tell me I'm pretty and that you want to be with me and you'll have me eating right out of your hand. But tell me you love me? That goes straight to my heart like Cupid's arrow and I'm yours lock stock and heart strings.
Sadly men know this and take advantage of it every time. What's a girl to do right? it's that same ole catch 22 suppose he's " the one" and you don't wanna pass on the real deal and therein lies the rub.
I have three guys who say they like me oh and supposedly "love me" but none of them ever come around to see me or take me out but they " love" me and "want to be with me" .
So here lately I've been asking myself, HMmmm what's wrong with this picture? They say I'm pretty, sexy, or beautiful. they "love me" and want me so much, then why am I always alone? To add insult to injury, I sit here being the faithful, loyal girlfriend listening to all the lies and excuses buying every word while time passes by.
WHY?? Why can't I bring myself to go out and have fun and enjoy myself for awhile? Why do I sit here night after night waiting to hear from a man who never comes to see me or take me out? Why is it if and when that message comes, I hang on every word? Because they said they said they "love me"??
BULLSHIT!!!
Those three words are very easy to say but mean nothing if there's nothing to prove it.I tell someone I love them all day long, but if there's nothing to prove or back it up, all they are is words. I'm thinking of kicking all of them to the curb like yesterday's trash and try a new approach.
This may sound cold but I'm so tired of the games. So I guess what I have to do is play their game but change the rules. Do like they do and tell them what they want to hear and take from them what I can. You know use them like they use me.
I'm going to try to keep my heart to myself until I find someone worthy of it and my love. The next guy to come along will have to work for it if he wants it. I just hope I don't change my personality because of being used so much.
I've heard that things like this will turn a girl one of two ways. A wild careless girl with no self esteem who will sleep with just anyone because any affection is better than none. Or she'll become a man hating, ball busting psycho bitch.
I'm gonna try to stay the course and not fall on either side of that fence, because I like the way I am and want to stay that way.
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Music and Memories
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Posted:Feb 6, 2016 12:50 am
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2016 10:01 pm
7859 Views
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I've hear it said that certain sounds or smells can trigger memories, like for instance the sound of a school bell will take you back to a significant day in high school where you met your high school sweetheart or stood up to a bully. The smell of fresh apples reminds you of grandma's hot apple pie or a nice fall day on the farm where they were pressing fresh cider. It could be most anything depending on the person and the situation that stirs up good or bad memories.
I have found the same goes with music. hearing a song that brings back the sweetest memory to me even better than an a distant sound or smell because to relive that moment in time over and over again all you gotta do is replay the song. At least that's how it works for me anyway. I had such a song do that for me the other day.
Each time I hear Brad Paisley's song " We Danced" it brings up the same sweet memory. except this time it was different. Let me explain.
Every time I hear " We Danced" I'm taken back to the time my wife Shelia and I had just stated dating. In fact if I remember right it was our first date.
I remember I showed up at her door a few minutes early with hat in hand and roses like a gentleman outa. Her answered the door and let her know I was there. So he toot the roses from my then shaking hand to put them in a vase. I was dressed in my best black button down and jeans smelling good.
She came out in a form fitting top that fit good in all the right places and jeans to match. She was absolutely stunning
I took her to dinner and while we sat there, I couldn't keep my yes off her the whole time we sat there and talked I was so proud to be with her and feeling very lucky. After dinner, we went to a local bar that had music. It took me a couple of beers and a whole music set to get the courage to ask her to dance.
The band was on a break and the jukebox was playing and the second song that came on I think was "We Danced" As we got together on the dance floor, time stood still because she felt so good in my arms, I got lost in the warmth of her touch her beautiful smile and lost in her beautiful brown eyes.
The whole place disappeared and there was no one but me and her. I was completely lost in the moment, it felt as though I had known her my whole life. I was hopelessly helplessly completely taken by her. If I be honest, I fell head over heels in love with her then and not a damn thing I could do about it, and really didn't wanna do anything about it anyway.
When the song was over this time, I was in tears because right now that is all I have left of that night is this sweet memory, at least for now.
See shelia had a major stroke in September of last year that almost killed her this time. As of right now. She's in a nursing home for now and I'm working on bringing her home but the nursing home keeps coming up with reasons why she can't.
Either way she'll be in a wheel chair the rest of her life.
Now you know the reason for the tears.
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To cheat or not to cheat
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Posted:Jan 21, 2016 2:29 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2016 8:17 pm
7831 Views
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To cheat or not to cheat that's the question.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who treats me like a princess and I couldn't be happier except for one small problem. I can't make love to him cause he lives so far away from me.
Don't get me wrong I love him dearly and there has been no other man who has ever treated me the way he does. We've gotten each other off over the phone but after awhile that gets real old real quick I don't mind my vibrator once in awhile to help with the physical but not all the time.
Mu body aches and craves for the touch of a man so much at times I about climb the walls. He tells me all the time he'll clear the way for us to get together because of his company he owns takes up all his time. He Promises me that things will slow down soon but not sure when.
I tell him all time that I really need him and don't want anyone else, and I really don't. He wants to be with me just as bad, and he works so much with his company and then in the spring things start up on his farm. I tell him all the time he needs a break but instead his phone rings cause there's an engineering problem somewhere that is company has to fix or work around and he's gone again.
I wanna ask him for his permission to get the physical need taken care of but not sure how to approach him about it with out causing problems with him[. I want to support him and care fore him like a good girlfriend should and not add to his stress.
I haven't fallen to temptation yet but I'm afraid that soon I will and when I do he will know because I have a conscious that won't let me alone. So I guess what I'll do is keep goin as best can and if I fall I'll deal with it then and take the consequences when I tell him. /COLOR]
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Nobody dates anymore
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Posted:Jan 17, 2016 11:48 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2016 11:49 pm
7780 Views
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Call me old fashioned if you want well because I am. I miss the days where if a man was interested in a woman he would ask her out on a date on a Friday or Saturday night. He would come to her place to pick her up with flowers in hand and was a gentleman by opening doors and things like that.
He would take her to dinner and maybe a movie. The nice thing is he would plan and pay for everything and the best part? He wouldn't expect anything in return. That would be up to the woman if she thought he was nice and liked him enough she would either kiss him at the door or invite him in for the night if she saw fit.
I've been married three times before I started my transition and each time I would work at the relationship by taking them out on dates and treat them all like women.
Now that I'm back to dating, this time as the woman, I want to be treated the same way I was taught to treat women and have a guy I like who likes me as well to take me out like that. Sadly, men like that are few and far between. It seems like all anybody wants to do anymore is "Hook up" usually for sex and that's it and call that dating.
I know that that's how things are and yes I've done it but, I still long to be taken out on an old fashioned dinner date and maybe one day I will but till then I'll look back fondly at a much easier time when men were gentlemen and dated women. and women love it....... at least I know I would...... But then again I'm an old fashioned girl.
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A Wonderful Man
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Posted:Jan 16, 2016 12:35 am
Last Updated:Feb 29, 2016 1:38 am
8121 Views
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I want to tell you about a man in my life that I simply love and adore. He's loved and supported me a long long time in anything I've done or tried to do in my life and back in 2008 is the first time he ever got to meet me, after knowing me all my life.
Confused? Well let me clear things up for you if you haven't figured it out already, the man that I love and adore so much is my Dad.
He's my hero and not just who he is but how he is. He has always let me make my own choices in life and from that I learned how to be responsible. See He trusted me enough to know that I wouldn't get into trouble but he also knew that if I did I'd own up to it and take the consequences for my actions.
I in turn also knew that if I did get into trouble, I would break his trust and that to me was enough to keep me out of too much trouble growing up.
He also taught me to live life the way I saw fit he didn't care as long as I was happy.
Which brings me to my point. When I came out to him as being trans, he hugged me and told me as long as I was happy he didn't care. Oh we played the 20 questions thing as you might guess, but all in all he has accepted me wholeheartedly as his .
This would become crystal clear for my birthday a few years later with the most beautiful birthday card I have ever received in my life addressed to his . I cried and called him to thank him.
Even now when I go to see him, and I do as much as I can. He always introduces me to his friends as his .
I know one day I will lose him and I hope that day is faraway off, I plan to spend as much time with him as I can and never ever fail to let him know how much I love him.
So I guess you can say I'm still truly daddy's little girl.
Thank you Daddy I love you.
Your loving Samantha
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Happy New Year?
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Posted:Jan 1, 2016 12:38 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 1:49 am
8158 Views
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Happy New year
Well this year was truly different because I brought in the new year alone. Shelia my loving supportive wife had a stroke 4 months ago and is still in a care facility. My boyfriend spent it with his very young wife. And here I sit just me and my Libby half drunk and feeling very lonely.
I know neither of them could help their situation or at least Shelia can't. I know I shouldn't but I feel rather jealous of Bob's wife be cause she's got what I want but can't have,
I know what you're thinking, well that's what I get for loving a married man and you're right. Here's the rub, He really loves me. I can feel it and hear it in his voice. He treat's me better than any guy I have ever been with, He always treats me with respect and like a lady should be treated. And most importantly, even though Shelia and I have an open marriage, he treats us boh with the utmost respect and dignity.
He encourages me to take better care of myself and Shelia. He has helped me build up my self esteem as well, So now you're probably thinking, so where's the problem.
My problem is this. I love him, and not just a little but a whole lot. Like I do Shelia more than life it's self. I'm to the point that if he wanted to leave his wife and put a ring on my finger I'd take it with no second thought. Shelia, me , and him would live happy ever after.
I don't want him to ever leave his wife for me and I told him straight up if he did , I wouldn't take him. I don't want to break up a happy home for now one and won't. That's not who I am.
Just once I'd like to find a man like him who is SINGLE. A guy to love me as I am for who I am Like Bob does.
UGH!!! I am so hung up on this man it ain't funny and I don;t know why or how it happened, All I know is I know how he makes me feel and my stupid heart wants what it wants.
Someone like him....
So here I sit wine drunk, lonely, and crying
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Random thoughts
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Posted:Jul 29, 2014 4:11 am
Last Updated:Jul 29, 2014 4:27 am
8846 Views
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On nights like tonight when I can't sleep,I put on some music and sort through my thoughts and feelings, They can be anything from dealing with school to what someone called me that day. But some times like tonight I think about how men treat me or even worse how I let them treat me.
Please don't think I'm blowing my own horn or anything like that cause I'm not. But I consider myself a nice person from what I hear from others I'm sweet, kind, loving person. Which is a good thing but also can be a bad thing because people take advantage of it like men.
It seems sometimes all I am is another fuck which sometimes to be honest is all I want but here lately I wan more than that.I want to be taken out on an old fashioned dinner date complete with the flowers and the show. I want to be treated like a lady once. I'm sorry bringin pizza and a twelve pack ain't a date. Don't guys take girls out anymore?Sorry but I don't think they don't teach that anymore. What ever happened to getting to know the person a little before having sex with them.I'd love for a guy to get to know me first you know date me once or twice before trying to get into my panties. What ever happened to the art of making love? you know the whole kiss a cuddle, explore each other. I'd love to be made love to completely lost in each other, consumed in the heat and passion.instead of him coming over fuck me them it's "hey baby that was great but I got to run but I'll call ya" like a cheap . Sadly I let them do it to me every time.
I know I'm preaching to the choir and yes I'm guilty of it to but here lately I've been asking guys if they would like to take me out on a old fashion date I get sure love to but hasn't happened yet but I'm hopeful.. Sorry but I'm NOT a .
And I know what you're thinking it's the guys I date and yes you're right so I need to make a change somewhere but where? If I tell them what I want, then I'm a demanding bitch. If I don't then I'm easy. So I either start telling guys I want more and end up date less and alone. Or I keep my mouth shut, and NOT get what I want and continue to get used.
My therapist tells me to wait till I find someone worthy of my love but that hasn't happened yet either.
But like I said just random thoughts.
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Summer and school
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Posted:Jul 28, 2014 5:38 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2015 11:28 pm
8658 Views
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Is it just me or dose it seem that summer went by really fast for some reason or another. It seems I just got out of school for the summer that I have to register for fall classes again.
Oh well two more semesters to go and I graduate college.and I do like school and looking forward to going back.
After graduation I'm planning on going back for another two years for another degree in my field.
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I wonder
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Posted:Jun 30, 2013 2:10 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2016 12:37 am
8942 Views
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I wonder if there are any guys who would like to take an old fashioned kinda girl like me out on an old fashioned dinner date? I mean I like sex as much as the next girl but there is more to me than that. Just once I wanna be taken out and be treated like a lady.
I wonder if and when I ever get asked out if he will continue to call and ask me out again even if I don't "put out" on the first one.
I wonder if a guy will ever wanna get to know me,and not just to get into my panties have sex and leave. But fine out what my favorite color is or song or anything that makes me who I am.
I wonder if a guy would like to be my friend? Not just an acquaintance, or friends with benefits. But someone to walk with and talk with,hold hands and kiss while we walk, hang out with.
I wonder if I will ever feel the touch of a man? and again not just during sex. But while he holds me in his arms while we sleep.
I wonder if I will ever be able to give my heart full of love away to a guy and get his in return? Instead of getting it back broken and empty.
I wonder if I will ever feel the warmth of the love of a good man? instead of the cold of loneliness?
I wonder if there is a a guy somewhere thinking and wondering like me?
I just wonder...
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