Staff meeting
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Posted:Mar 4, 2015 10:04 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2020 7:19 am
3230 Views
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The Funniest Staff Meeting Ever!
The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week.
(This is one pretty sharp boss!)
When everyone gathered, the boss,
who understood the benefits of having fun,
told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest.
The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.
The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra.
Slight variations were acceptable.
About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List..
With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone!
The top 10 were:
10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker picker upper.
8. Viagra, like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, Home of the whopper !
2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!
And the unanimous number one slogan:
1. This is your peepee... This is your peepee on drugs
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Diet
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Posted:Jan 5, 2015 2:40 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 9:41 pm
3805 Views
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I have two dogs and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Costco and standing in line at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s ass and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
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Question
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Posted:Dec 19, 2014 1:46 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 9:41 pm
4318 Views
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If Miley Cyrus trips and falls, is it considered a Hoedown?
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The toast
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Posted:Dec 19, 2014 1:44 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 9:41 pm
4337 Views
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John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life, between the legs of me wife !"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night !
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of
the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside
me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won
the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's
only been in there twice in the last four years.
"Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he
fell asleep".
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Random
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Posted:Dec 15, 2014 4:10 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 9:41 pm
4522 Views
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As I have grown older:
I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex any more…..
a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week. He didn’t take my TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick bastard!
The Agony of Aging
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
VIDEO SCAM
Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Pregnant
Doctor asks pregnant , "Do you know who the father is?" The replies, "Hey dumb ass, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart?
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shortened name
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Posted:Dec 15, 2014 3:45 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2015 10:58 am
4465 Views
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My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick, especially since his name is Steve.
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Never too late
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Posted:Dec 15, 2014 3:43 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2014 4:10 pm
4437 Views
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It's never too late to be what you want to be........
Unless you want to be younger, then you're screwed.
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Leather
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Posted:Dec 15, 2014 1:58 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2014 3:22 pm
4324 Views
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Makes sense to me....lol
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Texting
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Posted:Oct 3, 2014 1:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 9:41 pm
5753 Views
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An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile
phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a
no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your
smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a
sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband texted back to her:
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
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Fabreze
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Posted:Sep 24, 2014 12:36 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2014 1:59 pm
6363 Views
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If the Febreze commercials with the rooms filled with rotting garbage inspire you to buy Febreze.........
then you need to clean your fucking house.
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Phone option...
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Posted:Sep 24, 2014 12:35 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 9:41 pm
6299 Views
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Why do I have to press "ONE" for English, when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?!?!
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Exercise
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Posted:Sep 24, 2014 12:17 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 9:41 pm
6298 Views
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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
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Not enough sleep
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Posted:Sep 9, 2014 11:36 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 9:41 pm
6346 Views
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I didn't sleep well last night, so I made my coffee this morning with Red Bull instead of water. I got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car
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To link to this blog (bigrog1966) use [blog bigrog1966] in your messages.
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