joke
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Posted:Jan 27, 2015 10:55 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
6744 Views
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A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
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this man
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Posted:Sep 12, 2013 9:56 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
8344 Views
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There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?" The man says, "I found out that my is gay." The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."
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One Liners
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Posted:Aug 13, 2013 12:58 am
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2013 9:31 pm
8426 Views
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One Liners Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? A: One that never misses a period. Q: Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards Q: Why do blondes always want boob jobs? A: Because it's the only job they are qualified for. Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet. Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers. Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress? A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
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know her ....
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Posted:Jul 13, 2013 11:04 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
8620 Views
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Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.
The doctor said, “Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel.”
Paddy asked, “And what do I do with these, doc?”
The doctor replied, “Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. If she says, ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw.’, you hit her with the shovel.”
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Paddy
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Posted:Jun 12, 2013 11:39 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
8683 Views
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Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.
The doctor said, “Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel.”
Paddy asked, “And what do I do with these, doc?”
The doctor replied, “Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. If she says, ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw.’, you hit her with the shovel.”
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Little Johnny... The Birds and the Bees
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Posted:May 18, 2013 12:11 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
8882 Views
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Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
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How to Be Sexier—Instantly
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Posted:Apr 14, 2013 12:07 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
9033 Views
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How to Be Sexier—Instantly
When you feel sexy, you act sexy. (Cut to you being hit on by every dude you walk past.) These tricks will score you a smokin' hot mindset so a foxy vibe practically spills out of you.
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What did Adam say to Eve?
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Posted:Apr 7, 2013 8:46 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
9228 Views
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Q: What did Adam say to Eve?
A: "Watch out, I don't know how big this gets." - anonymous
A woman places an ad in the newspaper: "Looking for a man with 3 qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me & is great in bed." 2 days later her doorbell rings. "Hi," her visitor announces. "I have no arms so I won’t beat you & no legs so I won't run away." "What makes you think you're great in bed?" the woman asks. He replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?" - anonymous
A man comes home, finds his wife in bed with another man, and asks "What is this?!" The wife turns to her lover and says "See, I told you he was stupid." - anonymous
Q: What’s better than roses on your piano?
A: Tulips on your organ. - anonymous
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do you like this one??
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Posted:Feb 12, 2013 5:03 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
9103 Views
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A woman places an ad in the newspaper: "Looking for a man with 3 qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me & is great in bed." 2 days later her doorbell rings. "Hi," her visitor announces. "I have no arms so I won’t beat you & no legs so I won't run away." "What makes you think you're great in bed?" the woman asks. He replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?" -
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one night
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Posted:Jan 17, 2013 10:57 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
9360 Views
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One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.
So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
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I Shot The Dog
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Posted:Nov 17, 2012 4:15 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 3:56 pm
9523 Views
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A women was pregnant with triplets.
One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.
She goes to the doctor who tells her her will be all right, one day the bullets will come out.
So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.
The next day the second comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHOOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"
On the third day the comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" she goes "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" he replies "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"
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sex Q and A
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Posted:Nov 3, 2012 2:55 am
Last Updated:Nov 3, 2012 2:57 am
9576 Views
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Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! Q: Whats a condom and a coffin got in common? A: They both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going! Q: When is a man most intelligent, before, after or during sex? A: During sex cuz he's plugged up to the knowledge source Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time! Sex is like math. Add a bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, and pray you don抰 Multiply! Sex is like a misdameanor, the more I miss it, da meaner I get Q: How do you know if you have a high sperm count ? A: If she has to chew before she can swallow. Q: Two potatos are standing on a corner, how can you tell which one is a ? A: The one that says IDAHO!
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