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just the thoughts and moods and feelings of a broken man
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the drawing board
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Posted:Jul 22, 2006 12:17 pm
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2015 10:48 pm
3444 Views
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Seems i am back to the drawing board again..Is it time to give up finding someone who wants more than a one or two night stand...Really want someone who wants to stick around and be my friend and see what happens down the road..Life is short i know but can be so much more enjoyable with someone to share the good stuff with...Is it time for me to start thinking like a pig and begin to be one night stand oriented..Don't know but i do it hurts when you find someone you enjoy being with and they drift away and disappear and you have no idea where it went wrong..Time to rethink myself and the way i treat the women i meet..Gonna try to keep treating them like ladies and someone who wants to do more than sex and hope the right one comes along..though think she has and is gone..And no i don't mean any certain one..There are several i have met and had good times with and that have slipped away..Just a little piece of each still is with me and one day the one that combines the best of all of them will grace my world..Til then i will keep plowing away...til next update
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The Prize
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Posted:Jul 4, 2006 5:30 am
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2006 1:10 pm
3414 Views
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Well it sems i have been wondering and trying to figure out the why's and what happens. Guess what,i figured it out. Recently i have spent some time with a wonderful and beautiful woman and have gotten a things quite figured out. What and why are things i now know. Interested to know,well here we go. The problem that has given me all my grief and sadness was just a simple thing.
The woman i thought was all that and the bag of chips and i's relationship had major problems. One was fear and the other was we didn't have our eye on the prize. The prize you might ask,whats that. Well i now know what it is.
Its the heart and giving it to someone freely.
This is gonna be the start of a whole new blog for me. She is wonderful and at times too giving and makes me feel better than i ever have. The prize,no i don't have it yet but together we are working to see if it is gonna happen. Maybe soon i will be able to say i have it and believe me i will not let it go once i get it.
Regrets yes there are still some and feelings yes they still exist for the other but she has made her choice and i hope it is a good one. And to the man that got the prize there...Take damn good care of my best friend. She is still someone i care for but you are the man that ask to take care of her and do so..You two stay in touch..
For now i am signing off and looking towards the future be it a long and hard journey to get to where i want to be..
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The ride...
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Posted:Jun 18, 2006 11:01 am
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2007 4:40 pm
3344 Views
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I took a ride this week..Long ride and did some road work ,the first since last summer. Thinking this would clear my head and help me move on..wrong. All it did was bring back the memory of the first time i met the one.Gawd was she gorgeous the night we met.Jumped up in my semi and we rode off to make my delivery.We made my appointed delivery and made it a whole 2 miles before i couldn't stand it anymore.We pulled off and had sex right there..What a night and the next year was incredible.Yes we had our ups and downs but i was there in love and too proud to do what i needed to do. Now she is gone and maybe nothing is gonna bring it back..At least that night made it into her blog and can remember her and what we had forever..Gone from my life she may be but gone forever is to yet to be seen...Nice truck..well could be but wanna..always!! and always will be there!! Life is a journey and the road may fork but it always seems to come back together somewhere down the highway...Til then i will keep on truckin!
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Its The Rules!!
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Posted:Jun 12, 2006 4:54 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2024 8:3 pm
3276 Views
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want to play?...go ahead, make my day! Please make sure i at least have had some contact with you...
If you leave a comment, I will:
1. Respond with something random that i know or think i know about you.
2.I will tell you what songor movie or celebrity you remind me of.
3.I will tell you the most likely place you and i will ever make out.
4.I will say something that only makes sense to you and me or at the very least make something up that may give the peeps something to talk about.
5.I will tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6.I will tell you what your name would be if you were the opposite gender.
7.I will ask you something that i have always wondered about you.
8. In order to play here you should be willing to repost this yourself.So please repost this in your own blog. Its The Rules
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miscmmunication
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Posted:Jun 7, 2006 1:59 pm
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2007 4:44 am
3349 Views
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Well i sit here wondering why,how,and what do i do. I have lost the greatest thing to ever walk thru my life. And how you ask. By not communicating my feelings for her as i should have and not listening to what she didn't tell me. Miscommunication, it can destroy even the best of relationships as i have found out from this experience. It will cause people to do and say things that hurt the one you love the deepest and to the point they will walk away from you. I am sure some will understand the pain and hurt i am going thru and some will say i brought it upon myself. All i can think right now is i have been robbed of something i wanted so badly i didn't hear what she was saying and that she was so afraid to see and hear what i was trying to tell her but couldn't come straight out and say. Where does this leave a person...Let me tell you alone ,empty, and hollow.. I know someday i will understand and get thru this but the fact that now even though she says we are still friends, she avoids talking to me and even seeing me. Does this mean she still has feelings for me..Is this how you try to forget feelings that you have had with someone? Or does it make those feelings grow ? I have made a promise to stay as quiet as posssible and not try to interefere with her new life but honestly it doesn't mean i am gone. I will never leave and never stop loving her...I do hope for the best for her and will say i had hoped the joy she says she is in was gonna be with me...Told her i wanted to give her the world and everything she desired in it but i guess will not know now how great the rest of our lives could have been unless something changes...The old saying is if you love something set it free and if it loves you it will come back..Well i sit here waiting and will continue to wait til it does or i die because my love for her is this strong! I do hope she knows and understands the way i feel and keeps me in her life but i guess that is her choice... Hopefully soon i will have more upbeat and lively posts here but for now sorrow and loss fill my days and sleepless nights
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why?
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Posted:May 27, 2006 11:18 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2024 8:3 pm
3317 Views
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why does love hurt so much. How do we know what is th right way to do things. I have contemplated for weeks now about my love for another. It comes on stronger day by day and she pushes me further away each day. They say time will heal all wounds. Right, in a pigs ass. I may never know her love again and that hurts almost as much as why it happened. Fear. Yes the fear from both sides that kept us from letting our true feelings for one another show until we both hurt the other to the point it was lost. Now as i sit here,i only wish i had done much better and opened up and told her what i felt a long time ago. The question is, does "true" love have a chance when we have done so much to hurt the other??
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