Wedding Pictures
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Posted:Feb 23, 2006 1:08 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1778 Views
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On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture.”
Puzzled she asks, "My picture?"
He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".
She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture".
He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"
Oh yes here is yet another one that I found
Maiden's Elf
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VIRGIN???
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Posted:Feb 23, 2006 11:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1754 Views
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A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin."
The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before."
The wife responds,
"Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it.
My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it.
Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"
and yet one more
Maiden's Elf
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Sperm Bank
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Posted:Feb 23, 2006 10:15 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1791 Views
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A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!"
"I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples.
The guy says, "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!"
She looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???"
"DO IT!" So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well." So the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
Oh I just keep finding these.
Maiden's Elf
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Sperm Count
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Posted:Feb 23, 2006 8:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1800 Views
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There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.
Doctor: What was the problem?
Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing.
Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!
Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.
Another little thing I found searching the web
Maiden's Elf
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Sundae Delight
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Posted:Feb 23, 2006 7:46 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1915 Views
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One or maybe two can of Reddi Whip Cream (comes in flavors)
One can or squeeze bottle of chocolate sauce (any flavor will do)
Several strawberries
Frozen banana maybe one or two
Nice place where you can get messy
2 people or more depending how much fun you want to have
Take off all clothes (that can be fun to)
Shake up the cans of whip cream
Lay down my sweet
Lets make a sundae
Start with the chocolate sauce
Pouring it over your marvelous breast
Down over your stomach
Now onto your pussy
Wait a quick lick
Lets see how pussy taste dipped in chocolate
Mmmmmmmmmm wonderful
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa your tongue is great
Little bit more of a taste ooooooo chocolate covered pussy
Back to the sundae
Shake up that can (chocolate flavor)
Lets cover those titties with whipped cream
Just a little lick make those nipples stand up
Be the cherries on the sundae
Some on the tummy
And down to the pussy
Lets see where are those strawberries
Time for dipping
Where shall I start
Little bit here little bit there
No wait forgot some thing
Oh yes the frozen banana
Now where to but this
Ahh yes the chocolate covered pussy
One firm frozen banana
Going into one chocolate covered pussy
Peeled and sliding it in
Little by little
Back and forth in a sweet chocolate covered pussy
Time to eat and lick
Take those strawberries dipping them into the sundae
Sucking and licking the sundae of your breast
Making those nipples stand out
Nibble nibble lick lick
Such a sweet creation
Now down to the best part
Time to eat chocolate cover pussy
Eat that banana out of you
Licking all that whip cream and chocolate
Licking your pussy making you cum
Making you moan and scream with desire
Mmmmmm lets get messy
You were delicious
My very own chocolate sundae
So so good
Yum yum yum
So good so good
Elfs Maiden
copyright© Febuary2006 by Maiden
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Deep In The Forest
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Posted:Feb 22, 2006 12:07 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1799 Views
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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Just another little thing I found.
Maiden's Elf
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Goblin in the garden
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Posted:Feb 22, 2006 11:29 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1790 Views
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One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies
"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"
Just a little something I found while searching the web, enjoy.
Maiden's Elf
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Chocolate
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Posted:Feb 22, 2006 8:21 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1702 Views
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Milk dark white chocolate
Love them all
Not just a little
Oh one hell of a lot
Need it (more times than others)
Want it (most of the time)
Got to have it (ohhhh yaaa baby)
Give it to me
Just about anyway (nothing strange i.e. chocolate covered insects waste of good chocolate)
Eat just about any time or anywhere
Even would lick it off of someone special
Need it
Want it
Got to have it
But the question is
Is chocolate better than sex
Well if the better half is not there and chocolate is
I’ll go for the chocolate and wait for him to come home
Need it
Want it
Got to have it
Chocolate chocolate chocolate
Give me give me give me
Any and all
Chocolate LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elfs Maiden
copyright© Febuary2006 by Maiden
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YOUR CALL
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Posted:Feb 22, 2006 7:41 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1713 Views
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Did I hear you call me
Was it your voice I heard
Did you call my name
Did you call me your love
Speak to me my love
Let me hear your voice
Call my name out loud
Tell me you love me
Come to me my love
Put your arms around me
Pull me close
Kiss me my love
Caress me my darling
Touch me everywhere
Linger on those spots
That just delight me
Make love to me my darling
Show me your passion
Show me your desire
Make me feel so good
And after we are thru
Hold me in your arms
Tell me you love me
Forever and always
Forever and always
I will always love
You and only you
Love you always and forever
Elfs maiden
copyright© Febuary2006 by Maiden
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Tell Him
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Posted:Feb 20, 2006 6:19 pm
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2007 10:34 pm
1854 Views
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Tell him you want
Tell him you need it badly
Tell him he’s driving you crazy
Tell him to kiss you
Tell him to touch you
Tell him to caress you
Need him
Want him
Going to have him
Make him kiss you harder
Tell him to touch you all over
Teach him to caress all your right spots
Telling him all along how much you want him
How much you need him
And how much he drives you crazy
Needing him
Wanting him
Having him now
Tell him to kiss your neck
Tell him to suck on your breast
Tell him to play with your clit
Needing all of him
Wanting all of him
Having all of him
Needing him badly
Wanting him badly
Loving him badly
Tell him to lick you with his tongue
Tell him to fuck you with his fingers
Tell him to fuck you with his cock
Needing all of him
Wanting all of him
Having all of him
Tell him to fuck you hard
Tell him to make you scream with pleasure
Tell him to make you cum
Having all of him
Where he belongs
Fucking you hard and deep
I have him now
I no longer have to want
He’s in my pussy
Right where he belong
Fucking me hard and deep
Making me scream
Making me cum
Fuck me fuck me fuck me
Deep and hard
Making me scream
Making me cum
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Maiden
copyright© Febuary2006 by Maiden
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CURIOUS QUESTION
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Posted:Feb 20, 2006 11:49 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1685 Views
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I HAVE A QUESTION
Lately I've been writting poetry which you've seen
the thing that usual motivates me is one word like in Slippery. Saw the word in choose mood and had to write something. My question to you is do you have a word that you like to write an erotic poem about?
Do you have a word that makes you want to write an erotic poem?
Please feel free to leave the word if you choose.
Thank you
Elfs Maiden
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New Changes Today
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Posted:Feb 19, 2006 8:48 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2007 9:49 pm
1736 Views
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From grey to red gee do I feel great
Long hair gone
Short hair now
Changed the color
INTENSE RED COPPER
Now my hair is red
No more grey no more white
Feeling 10 years younger
New dew
New color
Feelin great
Lookin great
The elf is happy
The maiden is happy
Sex is going to be great tonight
Elf gets to fuck a red head tonight.
Elfs Maiden
P.S. New dew, New color new pics soon too
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Tickle Me
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Posted:Feb 17, 2006 2:08 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2007 9:50 pm
1840 Views
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Tickle me once
Tickle me twice
Tickle three times
Find the spots that make me laugh
Makes me giggle
I love it when you do it
You make me feel giddy
You know what you do to me
Finding all the spots is half the fun
So start at the top and stop before the bottom
Tickle me once
Tickle me twice
Tickle me three times
I love to laugh
I love to giggle
Find those special spots that make me giggle
And turn me on
you know the spots and you know how to use them
So find the spots
And use your magic
Use your fingers with a wiggle
Use a feather and work those spots
Make me giggle
Make me horny
Tickle tickle tickle
Tickle me once
Tickle me twice
Tickle me three times
You'll have sex tonight
Tickle tickle sex sex
What fun we will have tonight
tickle tickle sex sex
Fun fun fun in Elf's and Maidens house tonight.
Enjoy Elfs Maiden.
copyright© Febuary2006 by Maiden
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