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Japanese economy 7/27/2016
Fully half of all Japanese women are part- time or temporary
workers. Most will leave the workforce for good after having
their first . Which leads me to ask, who designed the
Japanese economy, a 1950's soap opera director.
3 Comments, 35 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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luv it!!! 7/20/2016
A father told his 3 when he sent them to college:
"I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best
possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that.
However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1, 000
into my coffin when I die.
And so it happened, one became a doctor, one a lawyer, and
one a financial planner, each very financially successful. ...
2 Comments, 129 Views,
17 Votes
,5.81 Score
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Social Security Office 7/18/2016
A retired gentleman went to apply for social security.
After waiting in line for quite a long time, he arrived at
the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for
his identification to verify his age. He looked in his pockets
and realized he has left his wallet at home. He told the woman
that he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will
I have to go home and come back now?” he asked. ...
3 Comments, 111 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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Toast 7/17/2016
A good man Rich, was with his friends having a contest to
see who could make the best drinking toast. He hoisted his
beer and said, "Here's to the rest of my life between
the legs of my wife!" And that won him the prize that
night.
He went home and told his wife that he won the prize for the
best toast. She asekd, "What was your toast?"
Not wanting to get in trouble he said, "Heres to ...
2 Comments, 99 Views,
12 Votes
,5.10 Score
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right size!!! 7/15/2016
Does size matter to women?
FRIENDS !!!
Women's response to:
2 inches - I can't even hold it. 3 inches - Never been so unsatisfied. 4 inches- I've had bigger than that. 5 inches- Good, but I wish a bit bigger! 6 inches - Perfect. 7 inches - Love it. 8 inches - Wow! But can't have it all. 9 inches - Painful but manageable. 10 inches - Too much pressure ...
5 Comments, 95 Views,
17 Votes
,5.53 Score
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Anybody, Anytime, Anywhere 7/15/2016
A man walks into a bar and sees a good looking smart dressed
woman perched on a barstool. He walks up behind her and says,
“Hi there, good looking, how’s it going?”
She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye
and says, “Listen, I’ll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere,
your place, my place, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been
doing it ever since I got out of college. I ...
3 Comments, 112 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
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One liner 7/14/2016
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women
wild? Answer: $100 bill
3 Comments, 16 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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How Long Has It Been? 7/13/2016
A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day
a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit.
Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you!” Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here along
time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information
the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives
the man cigarette. ...
3 Comments, 105 Views,
12 Votes
,3.33 Score
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Overheard at the lawyer's office 7/10/2016
Attorney: "I'm sorry, Mr. Mouse, but insanity
is not grounds for divorce in this state."
Mickey: "God damn it, I didn't say she was crazy.
I said she was fucking Goofy!"
2 Comments, 49 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
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The Sheer Negligee 7/8/2016
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase
a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities
that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the sheerer, the
higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item,
pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife
and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks ...
4 Comments, 172 Views,
18 Votes
,5.17 Score
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When I grow up... 7/8/2016
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you
grow up?”
Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to
the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give
her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in
Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe,
an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times
a day”.
The ...
2 Comments, 94 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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The tweeker and the dude in the old looking lamp... 7/8/2016
A tweeker is out digging thru a dumpster one night and he
finds a old looking lamp thing and starts to try and shine
it up so he can take it to a pawn shop or somewhere later. Well
a little poof of smoke came out and turned into some dude.
The dude said ", I'm a genie. And since you
helped me I'll give you three wishes."
The tweeker says, "I want a big bag of meth!",
the genie says."Ok." ...
3 Comments, 85 Views,
14 Votes
,2.50 Score
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beep beep!! 7/8/2016
One day a father and his five year old went to the bank
to cash a check. There was a few people in front of them waiting
for the bank teller. The lady in front of them was a rather
large well dressed business lady.The could not help
but notice her size. "Dad looks at her! She is so huge!"The
father replied, "Be quiet! You must be polite and
don"t hurt her feelings."The persisted,
"But dad she ...
5 Comments, 111 Views,
20 Votes
,4.91 Score
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I'm not horny 7/7/2016
Just kidding i am
1 Comments, 12 Views,
4 Votes
,0.53 Score
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Fart Joke 7/6/2016
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor,
I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really
bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent.
as a matter of fact, I have farted at least 10 times since
I have been here in your office. Neither You or anyone else
knew I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent.
The doctor, wrinkling up his nose, ...
2 Comments, 73 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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And the moral of the story is... 7/4/2016
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get
their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end
of it. The next day the came back and one by one began
to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have
a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs
to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when
we hit a bump in the road and ...
2 Comments, 100 Views,
9 Votes
,4.07 Score
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this website 7/3/2016
the jokes on you if your a standard member. you cant do much
with out gold. go gold
2 Comments, 18 Views,
5 Votes
,0.21 Score
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Good Blowjob. 7/3/2016
How do you know when you've had a good blowjob?
...
...
You have to burp her to get your balls back.
4 Comments, 31 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
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horny cock!! 7/2/2016
reply to this post rate flag
Rodney the Rooster
A farmer has a bunch of hens that are not producing many eggs.
So one morning he goes out and buys a young horny rooster
and names him Rodney.
The first day Rodney nails every hen on the farm and at the
end of the day the farmer finds Rodney trying to screw his
. The farmer walks over to Rodney and says "You've ...
4 Comments, 108 Views,
14 Votes
,5.22 Score
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dollars and sense!!! 6/30/2016
The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting
an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling
the coyote population. It seems that after years of the
ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or
trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more
humane" solution to this issue. What they were proposing
was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would
then ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Family 6/30/2016
A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,
“Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father,
surprised, answers, “Well, , a woman goes through
three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still
nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” the asks. “Yes. You see them and ...
1 Comments, 68 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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Turning to religion 6/29/2016
I was just devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam and we are stoning her in the morning.
1 Comments, 35 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score
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Wife missing 6/29/2016
My wife has been missing a week now. The Police told me to prepare for the worst.
So I had to go down to Goodwill and get all of her clothes back
1 Comments, 34 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Reincarnated 6/29/2016
I tried to explain to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but you come back as a different creature.
She said that when she dies she would like to come back as a cow.
I told her she obviously wasnt listening...
2 Comments, 42 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Birds and Bees 6/27/2016
A father asks his 10 year old if he knows about the birds
and the bees.
I don't want to know!" the says, bursting
into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!"
Confused, the father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad, " the boy sobs. "When I was six,
I got the 'There is no Santa' speech. At seven ,
I got the 'There is no Easter Bunny' speech. When
I was eight, you hit me with ...
2 Comments, 68 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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oldie but goldie! 6/27/2016
Blonde Joke of the Day
Back in the '80's, a blonde lady decides to do something
wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent
her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store
and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that
sounds *VERY* stimulating. She drives home, lights some
candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the
tape in the VCR. ...
1 Comments, 85 Views,
13 Votes
,4.99 Score
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Blond-e Men 6/27/2016
Men Can Be Blond Too: You Know! Most blond jokes are about
women, but who said men can't be blonde too? Here are
3 that put the shoe on the other foot, proving that it's
not about gender, or about being blonde, it's just
about making funny jokes! Blonde men: There was an Irishman, a Mexican, and a blond
guy, who worked construction together. They were working
on top of a building one day, ...
1 Comments, 64 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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The Unattractive Ladies Man 6/27/2016
A very handsome man at a singles bar is sitting at a prime
location having a drink. During the course of the evening
he tries to chat with every single woman who walks in, with
no luck. Then a repulsively ugly man comes in, sits at the
bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Minutes
later he walks out with two of the most beautiful women you
ever saw.
Disheartened by all this, ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Gas Issues 6/26/2016
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor,
I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really
bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent.
as a matter of fact, I have farted at least 20 times since
I have been here in your office. You didn't know I was
farting because they didn't smell and are silent.
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come ...
2 Comments, 41 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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Don't Tailgate 6/26/2016
I have had enough!
There is no need to be tailgating me while I am doing 50 in
a 35 zone so just BACK OFF!!
Also, those flashing lights on your roof look ridiculous!
1 Comments, 21 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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