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limrick 9/30/2019
there was a man from bombay who made a cunt out of clay he put
in his prick it hardened like a brick and tore his forskin
away
1 Comments, 15 Views,
7 Votes
,0.49 Score
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another funny 9/30/2019
what do dyslexic zombies eat? <br><br>
<br><br>
BRAINS <br><br>
<br><br>
ha!!!
1 Comments, 10 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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monday funny 9/30/2019
my wife keeps using the word 'mansplaining' wrong
and I don't know how to tell her! <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
ha!
1 Comments, 7 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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More Humour 9/29/2019
A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $, 000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t
mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”. ‘About 32, ’ is the reply.’ ‘Nope! I’m exactly 50, ’ the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into ...
1 Comments, 40 Views,
12 Votes
,4.21 Score
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are you smuggling opiates... 9/29/2019
Him= Are you smuggling opiates in your bra? Her= No, why? Him- Because I see a "Perky Set" in there!
1 Comments, 8 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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More Humour 9/28/2019
After two weeks on a desert island with only each other for
company, Bob and Geoff are getting horny. "Look, " says Bob, "Neither of us are
gay, but if you pretend to be a women for me, when I'm
done, I'll pretend to be a woman for you." Geoff reluctantly agrees and suffers minutes of painful
humiliation as Bob fucks him up the arse. When it's
over, Geoff asks Bob ...
1 Comments, 38 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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Senior Briefing 9/27/2019
On the first day at the new seniors complex, the manager
addressed all the new seniors pointing out some of the rules:
<br><br>
"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds
for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody
caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
<br><br>
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this ...
3 Comments, 42 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score
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Strange Day 9/27/2019
I've had a weird day today First I found a hat full of coins Then I got chased down the road by a bloke with a guitar.....
1 Comments, 22 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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The points :) 9/26/2019
Just making this article for the points yall sry bout that
2 Comments, 8 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Damsel in Distress 9/25/2019
A man brags about finding a woman strapped to some railroad
tracks and untying her, taking her home and having the best
sex of his life with her. His friend asked, was she cute?
He replies I don’t know I couldn’t find her head.
1 Comments, 8 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
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points 9/24/2019
points points points points points points.
2 Comments, 11 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
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sex 9/21/2019
hell yes very
4 Comments, 26 Views,
15 Votes
,0.53 Score
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Clownin 9/21/2019
Knock knock......who is it... knock harder.... who is
it... sorry didnt know I was knocking... my dick was on hard
1 Comments, 26 Views,
14 Votes
,1.06 Score
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Monday blues 9/20/2019
Blue blues
2 Comments, 25 Views,
19 Votes
,2.07 Score
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A Joke 9/20/2019
Justin Trudeau was reportedly very excited to be asked
to address a conference on racism. <br><br>
Apparently he's totally made up
2 Comments, 29 Views,
12 Votes
,1.56 Score
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Thomas Edison 9/16/2019
Thomas Edison was probably the first guy to fuck a girl with
the lights on.
2 Comments, 19 Views,
16 Votes
,1.95 Score
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More Humour 9/16/2019
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When
the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife
and the nine are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
15 Votes
,3.74 Score
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More Humour 9/16/2019
A fledgling journalist has been sent out to an interview
an elderly lady for the local rag, she has just turned 104
and still lives at home. The journo scribbles down the old
lady's life story in shorthand; schooldays, war ,
loves, marriage, widowhood. Then he arrived at the crucial
question. Journo: "Well then Edna, the $64, 000 dollar question!
All our readers will want to know the ...
1 Comments, 31 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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points 9/16/2019
points points points points points points.
2 Comments, 10 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
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More Humour 9/16/2019
The wife was bent over looking at something and it was to
good an opportunity to miss. I pulled her knickers to one side and did what nature intended.
Apparently we are banned from Walmart now .
1 Comments, 19 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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Mom 3some 9/13/2019
A guy is in a bar talking to a beautiful 60yr old woman things
get heated up and she whispers in his ear "have you
ever had a mom and 3some" the guy is thinking
if she looks this good at 60 her must be amazing.
So he goes home with her and as they head upstairs the woman
yells " mom take off your depends and clean yourself
up I brought us home a live one"
1 Comments, 26 Views,
11 Votes
,1.86 Score
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Hotel porn 9/10/2019
A family walks into a hotel and he father goes to the front
desk to get a room. He says "I hope the porn is disabled".
The guy at the desk says "We just show regular porn
you sick fuck".
2 Comments, 19 Views,
12 Votes
,2.62 Score
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Is the Earth really round ????? 9/9/2019
NASA lied us !!
2 Comments, 19 Views,
10 Votes
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Threesome 9/9/2019
Having just passed my 50th birthday, I met an older woman
in a bar the other night. She was in her late 60s, but in very
good shape for her age. We got talking and flirting and she
asked if I'd like to go back to hers for a "sportsman's
double". "What's that ?" I said.
"It's a mother and threesome".
Imagining a gorgeous lady about my age, I ...
2 Comments, 36 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
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More Humour 9/8/2019
A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So, " says the cop to the driver, "where
have you been?" "I've been to the pub, " slurs the drunk.
"Well, " says the cop, "it looks like
you've had quite a few." "I did all right, " the drunk says ...
4 Comments, 64 Views,
13 Votes
,2.98 Score
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When its an appropriate time to Joke about... 9/8/2019
When have you been able to joke about things with your partner.
Some of the short-cummins or long cummings etc. with your
partner? Have you been able to hold your tongue until there
was open air where you could share and accept your partners
critiques? Have you been with other couples where you enjoyed
things but maybe said something a bit too much? Then had
to walk it back.
1 Comments, 19 Views,
8 Votes
,0.70 Score
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The biggest Vagina 9/7/2019
Three women are sitting at a bar arguing over who has the
biggest vagina. <br><br>
“The first girl says, ‘My boyfriend can fit a whole
fist up there.’ The second girl says, ‘Ha, my boyfriend
can fit two fists and a foot.’ The third girl just smiles
as she slides down the bar stool.”
2 Comments, 36 Views,
14 Votes
,1.70 Score
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Doctor Viisit 9/7/2019
A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office. The doctor walks
in and says, “I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re
going to have to stop masturbating.” <br><br>
“I don’t understand, doc, ” the patient says. “Why?”
<br><br>
“Because, ” the doctor says. “I’m trying to examine
you.”
1 Comments, 8 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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A boy 9/6/2019
A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and
bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks,
"Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his
dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are
gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his
mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume
bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, ...
1 Comments, 34 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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More Humour 9/4/2019
Last night my wife wore a police uniform in bed and said,
"you've been arrested for being good in bed!"
<br><br>
90 seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of
evidence...
1 Comments, 7 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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